The Universe Conspired Against Us

“Did you see that?” Kirabo cried. Her sweaty hand squeezed mine unconsciously, making sure I wouldn’t escape. I could have sworn I too saw something lurking in the shadows but there was no point stating the obvious and agitating our situation further.

“There is nothing there,” I replied calmly except the hairs at the back of my neck stood at attention, proclaiming the opposite.

“Damn you Peter, why did you have to bring me all this way, couldn’t we just have gone for a simple dinner.” My less than pleased girlfriend grumbled.

“You’re always complaining our relationship is stale, I wanted to surprise you with something spontaneous,” I screamed inwardly. But this wasn’t the time or place for a confrontation, we needed to find our way to our cabin before the creatures of the night got to us.

When I planned the Valentine’s Day getaway I had imagined an elated grin of delight from my beloved, and kisses.

“You’re amazing, amazing, I love you,” those are the words I had pictured her saying. But that image was replaced with the reality of painless punches at my chest and a broken nail and more punches and screams and simultaneous screams and punches all in that order.

Rubbing my thumb on her hand, I tried to comfort Kirabo. I couldn’t see her face in the darkness but I could sense the hostility. She barely said a word although her deep breaths were louder than the dry leaves we crushed under our feet as we walked cautiously in a failed attempt to stay invisible and make as little noise as possible.

My surprise had turned into a nightmare. I’d planned this day a month in advance. From the venue, the food, to the bed sheets we would sleep on, or rather lose ourselves in. And while we seeped on four hundred thousand shilling wine whose name I couldn’t pronounce I was to go down on one knee and ask Kirabo to marry me. I was sure she was going to say yes, it was meant to be epic. But then my Toyota rav4 had broken down en route, we were nowhere near civilisation, there was no telephone service and worst of all I had no sense of direction. My perfect Hollywood movie had turned into a Kina-Uganda. I was annoyed with myself. I was annoyed with my car. And I was annoyed with the world.

After walking in circles for hours we sat down and leaned against a tree. Kirabo held onto me as much as I held onto her. I was mortified we were not going to make it through the night.

“Honey I’m sorry about tonight. I’ve been planning this getaway for weeks and I can’t believe it’s going to end like this.”

“I swear to God I’m never going anywhere with you again,” she replied sharply.

I gave out a deep sigh and tried to imagine the proposal that will never be, at least not today. Fuck, love. Fuck the universe. Everything conspired against us.